Never Leave Me
She sat there, looking at him with those big, blue eyes of hers that looked like stormy seas. Just staring, not speaking.
“I will not do this anymore” he said. He lit a cigarette, inhaled deeply. “I will not.”
He had spent long, sleepless nights steeped in whisky and cigarettes. He had feared he would lose his nerve, or worse, lose the words. But now words were his friends, and his bullets.
“I will not be your wraith, living this half life.” He took another deep breath of smoke. “I have lived in a grey world, a world devoid of smell or sensation. Food tastes like ash. Sadness wraps around me like a wet blanket.”
He stopped for a moment. “People said I should move on, but I didn’t want to. You see, after you have had a love like this there is nothing that can compare.” He inhaled so deeply that the cigarette reached it snipe. “But you chose to go. Sometimes I think maybe it was my fault. Maybe I could have done something differently.”
He threw the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, extinguishing its bright tip. “The doctors said that it wasn’t my fault though. That you only did it because your mind… it was not well.” He paused. “But you did go. I love you and always will. But I have done my penance, and now it is time for me to come back to the land of the living.”
He closed his eyes. “Goodbye” he murmured. When he opened them she was gone. Only the faint smell of perfume still lingered in the air.
“I will not do this anymore” he said. He lit a cigarette, inhaled deeply. “I will not.”
He had spent long, sleepless nights steeped in whisky and cigarettes. He had feared he would lose his nerve, or worse, lose the words. But now words were his friends, and his bullets.
“I will not be your wraith, living this half life.” He took another deep breath of smoke. “I have lived in a grey world, a world devoid of smell or sensation. Food tastes like ash. Sadness wraps around me like a wet blanket.”
He stopped for a moment. “People said I should move on, but I didn’t want to. You see, after you have had a love like this there is nothing that can compare.” He inhaled so deeply that the cigarette reached it snipe. “But you chose to go. Sometimes I think maybe it was my fault. Maybe I could have done something differently.”
He threw the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, extinguishing its bright tip. “The doctors said that it wasn’t my fault though. That you only did it because your mind… it was not well.” He paused. “But you did go. I love you and always will. But I have done my penance, and now it is time for me to come back to the land of the living.”
He closed his eyes. “Goodbye” he murmured. When he opened them she was gone. Only the faint smell of perfume still lingered in the air.
All website content copyright 2016 by Alex Avrio
